Experimental
by Sariyuki
Summary: Humor. Yaoi. When flying saucers are more than lights in the sky...


**Title**: Experimental   
**Date**: 23 June 04   
**Written by**: Sariyuki   
**Inspired by**: Ryutsuki, Soreyle, ChaosDaughter  
**Beta-ed by**: ChaosDaughter   
**Dedicated to**: Everyone above!  
**Disclaimer**: We don't own Gensomaden Saiyuki nor Saiyuki RELOAD nor Saiyuki Gaiden nor Saiyuki RELOAD GUNLOCK nor any other Saiyuki derivative.  
**Notes**: This is written for Ryutsuki's challenge, which is also my first attempt at writing humorous 383 fic... so bear with me...  
  
= = = =  
  
It was another day in the lives of four guys riding a green jeep through the wilderness of the desert. The journey seemed to be never ending. As was the whining that could be heard from the back seats of the jeep.  
  
"So hot, ne, Sanzo," complained a nagging voice. "So hot"  
  
"Yeah, I bet it's more than 40 degrees," added another nagging voice. "I'm gonna die."  
  
"I'm gonna melt," said the first voice.  
  
"I'm gonna-," started the other voice.  
  
"SHUT UP!" said a thundering voice that spelt the word "die" if not obeyed. "Or you both really are gonna die! And that's not a threat!"  
  
"Now, now, Sanzo," said the voice that radiated reasonableness for kilometres in every direction.  
  
The last voice somehow always managed to calm the other voices down, including the thundering one. Well, not always, but most of the times. Okay, maybe not most of the times but certainly in most cases. Oh alright, for precision's sake, occasionally. And this occasion it certainly did.  
  
For a few minutes.  
  
Before a nagging voice started to nag again, "I'm hungry."  
  
"And I'm hot!" added the other one, not to be beaten. "Yeah I know I'm hot, but currently I am not referring to that hot, hot but the weather, you know, which was freaking hot and I am definitely-"  
  
"Can't you two shut up?" snapped the very grumpy voice with a hint of authority.  
  
The driver glanced to the man sitting next to him and saw a big throbbing vein on the man's forehead, which was a sure sign of something bad was going to happen in the near future. Quick, he had to think of something before blood was shed in this vicinity.  
  
"Now, now, let me tell you all a story so that we don't think about the hot weather," he suggested. "How about that?"  
  
"What story?"  
  
"It's a weird story that I heard from the innkeeper just before we left."  
  
"Oh, alright. Go on."  
  
"Well," Hakkai began. "The innkeeper said that this desert is kind of haunted."  
  
Sanzo glanced sharply at the green eyed youkai sitting next to him but only to received a bright smile in return. He scowled and resumed glaring at the road ahead. Pretending not interested in the story, although he wanted to make sure to hear every last bit of it. Hakkai's stories tended to be interesting, especially so when told in that melodious voice of his which always had strange and unexplainable effects on Sanzo.  
  
Wait a minute, thought Sanzo. Where did _melodious_ come from?   
  
"Haunted, how?" asked Goku, interested despite the lack mention of food in the story.  
  
"Well, he said that people disappeared suddenly from the desert only to come back a few days later not quite the same as before."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I meant... they became, um, what's the word, mad, you know, after they disappeared and reappeared."  
  
"Is there some ghost involved in this, you think?"  
  
Hakkai shrugged his slender shoulders, "Who knows... although the innkeeper said that before those people disappeared they saw a big flying saucer in the sky."  
  
"Big... flying... saucer?"  
  
"Do you think this flying saucer's got meat buns on it? It's a saucer after all!"  
  
Hakkai smiled, "Could be, could be...who knows?"  
  
"Or maybe spring rolls?"  
  
"Oi, Hakkai..."  
  
"Yes, Gojyo?"  
  
"Is that...," Gojyo tried not to quaver. "Is that a flying saucer flying behind, er, above us, do you think?"  
  
"Eh?" Hakkai turned his head to have a look but it was too late.  
  
= = = =  
  
"Bloody hell!"  
  
"Where's Sanzo and Hakkai?"  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"I think the saucer's got them..."  
  
"What we're gonna do?"  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"Just wait I guess, didn't Hakkai say that people reappeared after disappearing?"  
  
"...and they became mad! Oh no! Sanzo and Hakkai are gonna go mad too!"  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"Madder than they are now?"  
  
"...er, you're right, I suppose."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"... did you see any meat buns fall off the saucer?"  
  
"Nah."  
  
Goku sighed sadly. "I hope they're not gonna take too long. I'm hungry..."  
  
= = = =  
  
Meanwhile, quite far away from Goku and Gojyo, similar thing was happening.  
  
"Bloody hell!"  
  
"What was that bright light all of a sudden?"  
  
Sanzo looked at his surrounding with growing irritation. "Where the hell is this?"  
  
Hakkai did the same thing and stated the obvious, "I think the saucer's got us."  
  
"Ch," muttered Sanzo as he always did when he didn't know what to say.  
  
And then suddenly they didn't need to say anything anymore as a booming voice was saying quite a number of things inside their heads. Reflectively, both men covered their ears but it didn't have the desired effect. It was hard to hear clearly what the voice was saying because it was so loud.  
  
Then as sudden as it started, it stopped.  
  
"What the fuck!"  
  
"Indeed," replied Hakkai. "What did it mean by _experiments for data analysis_? I really don't like the sound of it."  
  
Sanzo took out his gun and glared at the strange walls that surrounding both of them, "I'm not going to sit around being an experiment!" He spat the last word and shot the offending walls.  
  
Nothing significant happened.  
  
And the voice came back.  
  
Sanzo's eyes widened, "We have to do WHAT?"  
  
Hakkai started to laugh. "This is unbelievable."  
  
"And why the fuck are you laughing?" snapped Sanzo, irritated beyond belief that the green eyed youkai seemed to take things ever so lightly.  
  
"Well isn't it funny that these, shall we say, people who abducted us, wanted to see us mating? And if we refuse they're not going to let us out again."  
  
"And you found that funny?" asked Sanzo sarcastically. "You're sick."  
  
"Oh come on," said Hakkai, still in his reasonable tone of voice. "It's not like we're not gonna fork each other eventually."  
  
Sanzo narrowed his gaze on his companion. _What the fuck-  
_  
"Don't think I didn't notice the way you've been giving me looks lately, Sanzo."  
  
Sanzo's eyes went even wider than before. _Damn_. Was he really that obvious? _Well, nothing to lose now...  
_  
"So what are you proposing to do, exactly, Mr. Know-It-All?"  
  
"Do what they asked us to do, of course, and get it over with," replied Hakkai promptly. In fact, he was striding closer to Sanzo. "Besides..."  
  
Sanzo took a backward step involuntary, seeing the strange glints in Hakkai's green eyes. "Besides?"  
  
"Besides, when would we ever get a time alone like this again?" purred Hakkai.  
  
The monk stared, "Have you forgotten those psychos who brought us here?"  
  
"No, but look they've even provided us with the essentials," Hakkai waved his hand in the direction of the line of bottles in a shelf on the wall. "And isn't it more fun with the onlookers, don't you think?"  
  
Sanzo's back hit a wall and he was pinned on it. "You're sick, Hakkai."  
  
"Am I?" grinned Hakkai predatorily, his hand moved downwards. "What about you then?"  
  
Sanzo gasped. _Damn his treacherous body!_  
  
"I think you are too, Sanzo," said Hakkai in a low voice, in Sanzo's ear, sending shivers down Sanzo's spine.  
  
"Want me to cure your sickness?"  
  
Sanzo tried so hard not to moan. _Damn Hakkai and the things he could do with his hand..._  
  
= = = =  
  
Thirty-eight minutes later...  
  
"Fuck," muttered Sanzo. "My ass is freezing on this floor."  
  
Hakkai chuckled. "Well then... would you like to change your point of view for the next round?"  
  
Sanzo smirked, "About bloody time too!"  
  
= = = =  
  
A few hours later...  
  
"Oi, monkey, wake up!"  
  
"Wha?"  
  
"They're back! Look!"  
  
"Who?"  
  
Gojyo hit the back of Goku's head, "Your owner and Hakkai, that's who!"  
  
"Oh," Goku blinked his bleary eyes several times and inspected the horizon. "They seem alright to me. Don't seem mad or anything."  
  
"Hmm," mused Gojyo, sensing something wasn't quite right. "There's something different..."  
  
"Well, their clothes are a bit dishevelled and their hair's a bit messy but- "  
  
"Have you noticed that-," Gojyo peered hard. "... that thing on Sanzo's face?"  
  
"You mean... the sm-," Goku gulped. "... the smile?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
Both Gojyo and Goku looked at each other in horror as realisation was dawning on them. So Hakkai's story was right after all. People who had been abducted by the flying saucer would become mad after coming back. And Sanzo's smiling was enough proof to any supposed madness.  
  
"So what do we do now, Gojyo?" asked Goku nervously, as two approaching figures were getting near.  
  
"Cross your fingers and pray _hard_!"  
  
= = = =


End file.
